


do you think of me the way i think of you?

by jellal



Category: The Caligula Effect (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Canon Trans Character, M/M, also ritsu didn't kill myu, also some other fun tingz i have decided to add because this is my fic and i make the fucking rules, and they just chillin in mobius while go home club clowns around in the real world, au where mobius wasn't destroyed after the go home club fought the musicians, i am gay and i am the hetero defender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-10-28 22:56:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20786420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellal/pseuds/jellal
Summary: Whether it was true or not, Izuru would never find out.





	do you think of me the way i think of you?

It should’ve been his ideal life.

After the Go-Home Club had fucked back off the real world, Ike-P could continue living his false happiness out in Mobius. The Ostinato Musicians were still in close contact with each other, save for Kag- _Kensuke_ who had betrayed them, and Shounen Doll, who had decided to follow Suzuna back to the real world. As much as Ike-P wish he could hold some sort of animosity towards them, he knew they were one of the more lonely members, and if they had really fallen in love then he could at least have a peace of mind knowing they never tried to harm any members.

He could sit here in Mobius and sign autographs until his hand hurt, sleep with whatever girl threw herself at him that day, listen to the screams of his thousands of adoring fans, and yet nothing filled him with pure and utter bliss like knowing Izuru Minezawa’s futile existence was no longer a stain within his paradise. He had done nothing but piss Ike-P off, acting so disdainful to Ike-P’s problems whilst spitting out hate towards his own appearance as if it was some sort of ailment, like he had never beat out Ike-P at his own game in his world - the fucking audacity of him to do so made Ike-P’s blood boil all over again.

He never had, and never again will, hate anyone as much as he hates Izuru Minezawa.

…

…

…

Right?

Admittedly it _had_ been a little boring without someone to take his frustrations out on. There was no doubt that he felt pure animosity towards Izuru, but he had also wondered what else lingered along with it. He had always pushed it to the back of his mind while the Go-Home Club was still around so he could focus on the Musicians goal of keeping them from leaving, but now that they were gone… what was it that made his chest ache about Izuru’s absence?

Did he really ███ Izuru?

* * *

Ike-P had no idea how Sweet-P managed to get everyone together without fail every single time she asked. She had redecorated their entire former hideout to look like some ten-year-old girls fantasy, yet he had to admit it was done in such a way even he could enjoy. (She had left Shadowknife’s chair untouched, out of respect or grief he did not know.) They would all sit together like a family, something most of them never had much of in the real world, and talk about what was happening in Mobius and what was happening in the real world, the latter information being achieved from what they referred to as Kuchinashi’s “outside source.” Though some of the conversation was teetering on the line of mindless, he always enjoyed the time nonetheless-

“Did you hear about one of those little Go-Home Club boys? Apparently he’s in the hospital! The chances of him making it out are like, zilch!” 

Stork sounded just a little too excited about that to be considered normal. It got the attention of everyone else in the room, all staring at him with varying degrees of interest. “Hmm? I wish it could’ve been that rotten girl who ruined my tea party. It would’ve been nice to see her face contorted in pain..” She sighed out wistfully, leaning against Mirei as she started stroking Sweet-P’s hair. Ike-P on the other hand, felt like someone had thrown him into the deepest ocean there is, weights pulling him down and water filling his lungs. There were multiple boys in the club though, surely…

His throat felt like sandpaper as he croaked out, “Do you know which one?” 

Kuchinashi stepped in to hit him with the words more painful than if he had been killed the night  μ snapped, her robotic voice sounding more like God placing down his divine judgement. “Ah, that really aloof and distant one. Minezawa, I believe.”

Every traumatizing moment in the real world was nothing compared to this, his legs buckling as he ran out of the room like his life depended on it. The flights of stairs to the top of the roof became a blur, his head only filled with the news that had just been handed to him. As he bursted through the door, he took into account how beautiful Mobius looked right now and how much it fucked with his brain, as if his own safe haven was mocking him. Peering across the edge, he recalled seeing Thorn do this time and time again to torment Shougo, remind him of his past sin.  μ had saved her every time, but if he asked her, that could be avoided.

“ μ !” He screamed out, watching as she materialized in front of him, the look on her face letting him know she was aware of his current feelings. “Ike-P…” she tried to muster a smile, “are you having fun?”

Hurting her was the last thing he ever wanted to do, but an existence like this could only do so much to save a person, and if he did feel this way about Izuru, then what was left if he was dead?

“ μ , whatever you do, don’t save me.”

A tear welled in her eyes as she floated down to where he was, embracing him as she accepted that this time, there was nothing she could do. “Did you enjoy it? Mobius?” He could feel her shaking in his arms. Inhaling deeply, he told her the truth. “It was the best time I’ve ever had in my life.” 

Backing away from him, she nodded and gave him one last solemn smile. “You’re always allowed to come back! I promise to let you in whenever you want to.” It was an empty promise, both of them knowing damn well there was no coming back from where he was going. He thanked her regardless as she disappeared before him and he looked back over the edge. He wondered if Izuru had ever thought about him the way Ike-P had.

With nothing left holding him back, he jumped.

**Author's Note:**

> i have clinical depression. please talk to me about caligula on twitter @paradigmbox


End file.
